Silicon Valley - 2010 The Year of Resiliency (Part 1)

Hello Silicon Valley,

My name is Anita Mann and I am a Life and Personal Development Coach. I think many of us value a fulfilling career and try to balance that with a healthy personal life. But, this can be tricky at times.  Therefore, I would like to share my ideas for creating more balance and reaching your goals.  As with other articles, I focus on specific cities, but the message is always universal.  So to all, enjoy the read.

Client discussing goals with a Life Coach

Client discussing goals with a Life Coach

As the New Year begins, many of you are probably thinking about or  setting resolutions.  I prefer to call them goals because ‘New Year’s Resolution’ has become a cliche in some ways, thus losing its power to cultivate change.  Now, does this sound familiar?  You are excited because you’ve found your ‘resolution’ and are itching to begin.  Let’s use a common example of getting into shape.  You’ve registered at your local gym and are ready to start.  Adrenaline is running high, friends are inspired by you, and you make it to every workout you planned on. 

After a month or so, results seem slow in coming (your perception), your new work-out outfit has been through the wash so many times its lost its luster, and no one is commenting on your new endeavor.  It’s become old news. 

Chin up, you say to yourself.  I can do this.  You continue to make it to work-outs but more pressing things ’suddenly’ occur in your life. You accept overtime at work because, well, who turns down money?  And, it looks good to your superiors.  In a competitive market, this is a must you tell yourself.  Others events occur like a sick child or your partner complaining that your spending too much time away from home. 

Gradually, you miss more exercise classes but rationalize it as simply a part of life that one must be flexible about.  After all, you have many responsibilities and your results at the gym weren’t exactly what you had expected anyways.  You tell yourself you’ll get back on track once ‘things settle down’.  That time never comes.  I won’t continue this story because I think you know where things are heading - you quit the gym and chalk it up to an inevitable failure.

Well, you’re not alone.  Most resolutions fail within the first month.  Here’s where I step in.  I think some information and a little insight is sorely needed.  First, you need to be aware of the process of skill acquirement.  Whenever learning a new skill or behavior these are the steps you go through.

Being 1) Unconsciously Incompetent  2) Consciously Incompetent  3) Consciously Competent and  4) Unconsciously Competent.  Let me define each. 

1) Unconsciously Incompetent:  In the beginning, you are not aware that you don’t have a particular skill.  Using the above example, this means you lack the awareness that you are out of shape and that it is negatively impacting you. 

2)  Consciously Incompetent:  Then, say you watch a hard-hitting television program on health and learn just how important it is for you to make changes to improve your  health now.  Or, you are ready for the first time to accept you are out of shape and must do something about it.  You’re just not sure what to do or how to start.

3)  Consciously Competent:  So, you do some research or ask physically active friends what they are doing for themselves in this area.  Say you join a gym and participate in classes. You keep practising this new routine, but boy is it hard work!  NOW THIS IS WHERE MOST PEOPLE GIVE UP.  They think the results aren’t coming fast enough. They skipped classes one week because other ‘priorities’ came up and feel all is lost.  Maybe they take on extra work at the office and did not have the ‘time’ to exercise. In essence, they think have have failed because they did not perform perfectly. 

THIS IS NORMAL!  MOST PEOPLE WANT TO QUIT AT THIS JUNCTURE BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY HAVE FAILED.  THIS IS A FALLACY!  STRUGGLE DOES NOT EQUAL FAILURE.  IN FACT, THIS IS A NECESSARY PART OF SKILL DEVELOPMENT BECAUSE YOU BUILD RESILIENCY.  This is a golden opportunity to call in all your internal resources (ie. saying positive affirmations to yourself) and external resources (ie. working with a Life Coach). You learn to manage your way through the rough spots and come out the other side a winner.  Now you have a precedent for overcoming future obstacles and your confidence skyrockets!                                                                                                

4)  Unconsciously Competent:  It realistically takes people 3 months to become proficient at a new skill, routine or habit. You have become proficient.  Exercising is now second nature to you. You have succeeded.

In closing, knowing beforehand that getting off-track is a good thing, results in not being paralyzed by it.  You CAN get back on track.  Resiliency is the key.

To dramatically increase your chances of success, you need support.  Do not work in isolation. One of the best ways is working with a Life Coach.  For assistance to negotiate YOUR journey toward goal achievement, please contact me and we’ll discuss a plan that works for YOU.  As my client, you will learn how to access your internal strengths, empowerment strategies, and master the 4 steps. 

Here’s to awareness and planning for all your endeavors for 2010. 

Anita Mann

6 Responses to “Silicon Valley - 2010 The Year of Resiliency (Part 1)”

  1. Peter Quinn Says:

    Hi. I am a long time reader. I wanted to say that I like your blog and the layout.

    Peter Quinn

  2. Z.Hales Says:

    I read this brief article and decided to exercise by riding my bike after work along the seawall. In 60 days I lost 6 inches around my waist and 20 lbs and lowered my blood pressure. My next goal: to cut out dairy and meats and be vegan and keep the weight off permanently! I feel so energetic now and find my work life and family life much more enjoyable.

  3. S.F Says:

    Awesome post and must say it got my attention. I was browsing online and saw your site and am glad i found it.

  4. Lamont Daber Says:

    Thanks for the great post.

  5. Wedding Slideshows Says:

    Thanks so much for this great blog; this is the kind of thing that keeps me though out the day. I’ve been searching around for your blog after I heard about them from a buddy and was pleased when I was able to find it after searching for some time. Being a avid blogger, I’m pleased to see others taking initiative and contributing to the community. I just wanted to comment to show my appreciation for your work as it’s very encouraging, and many writers do not get the credit they deserve. I am sure I’ll be back and will send some of my friends.

  6. anonymous Says:

    I just added this website to my favorites. I really enjoy reading your posts. Ty!

Leave a Reply

RSS Feed

Copyright © Spirit Soars Coaching & Consulting, serving clients in Nanaimo, Victoria, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland and Beyond. All Rights Reserved.

Looking for balance? Changing careers? Anita Mann, a Life and Personal Development Coach, provides in person, online or phone coaching to clients from Nanaimo, Victoria, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland and beyond.